What If?
There are many ways to go about challenging the reality of these thoughts, and one common way is called “decatastrophizing.” This technique is part of cognitive therapy, and is designed to have the person realistically confront the feared negative outcome. Essentially, decatastrophizing requires a person to ask “what if” the terrible things did indeed happen. What would he or she do in response?For the above examples, one could ask “what if I actually was fired, what would I do?” The response is generally: Although it may be tough for a period of time, I would have to find a new job. In the other example, the person may conclude “It would be painful and embarrassing, but I would get over it and find a new friend.”
Try It!
To practice, divide a sheet of paper into three columns. In the first, write a feared negative outcome. In the second, write it as a “what if” sentence. In the third column write what you would actually do. Check in with yourself to see if actually confronting the fear and making a plan reduces the anxiety associated with it. If it leads to another fear such as embarrassment, then make that the next fear in the first column and continue. See if you can get to a place of calm and security.The magic in this technique is that it allows us to create plans for these feared situations, which gives us more control over them and reduces our worry about them. It takes away the mystery and allows us to reassure ourselves that regardless of what happens, we will be OK, and that we can overcome almost any of these situations.
