People who struggle with
generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) often find themselves struggling with a related self-esteem problem. Self-esteem is the general beliefs and feelings we have about ourselves. Many people with diagnosable mental disorders have self-esteem issues that can be the cause or effect of the other problems. The following is a brief overview of some self-esteem theory and some ideas on how you can get started improving your self-esteem. For more self-help for GAD, read this for some specific
tips to reduce worrying.
Theory
A major theory of self-esteem is that we have evolved to experience perceived social acceptance and rejection emotionally. Essentially, it is believed that our self-esteem level is determined by how much acceptance (people who are friendly or want to have relationships with us) or rejection (people who are negative or don't want relationships with us) we experience in the social world. Therefore, someone who experiences a lot of acceptance will have higher self-esteem, and those who experience more rejection would have lower self-esteem. The problem for most people is that they struggle to accurately read the amount of acceptance and rejection in their lives, leading most people to have artificially low self-esteem. This can be magnified for people who have anxiety problems related to other people.
See What is Really There
One quick way to start to change your self-esteem is to actually examine the levels of acceptance and rejection you experience. For the vast number of people in the world, there is greater acceptance and warmth for them than rejection and coldness. Take a close look at the number of people in your life that care for you and then the amount that reject you. Most folks will find a larger number of people that accept them than reject, which should translate into better feelings and self-esteem. However, if more people are rejecting, take a good look at why, and consider making some personal changes. Sometimes our self-esteem isn’t high for good reasons.
Take Action
Many people with self-esteem are simply trying to avoid losing more rather than gaining. Therefore, many people with lower self-esteem, particularly with anxiety problems too, become paralyzed with inaction. Finding the courage to branch out, make new friends, and increase the level of positive social engagement can be magical to self-esteem. This again can be difficult for people with GAD if there are problems meeting new people or feeling judged. So working with a friend or therapist to make this happen can be helpful.
Remembering the Good Things
People with low self-esteem tend to beat themselves up internally. They are cruel, doubting, second-guessing, and negative instead of being positive, reassuring, and nurturing. This can be compounded for people with GAD or other anxiety issues. However, being able to take some time during the day, whether it be while you’re not doing anything or when you might need it most, to remember the good things about yourself and work toward some encouragement or reassurance can do wonders. Try taking only 2 minutes 2 times per day for a week to either think or say your positive attributes to yourself and see what happens.
